Rutland Herald/Times Argus
Article published Dec 8, 2013
Weekly Planet column
A wish list for Santa
Spoiler
Alert: Parents may want to keep their children away from this column’s opening
paragraph. Of course, how many children read my column in the first place?
Dear Santa,
It’s been many years since I stopped believing in
you. In fact, I can still remember the exact day I realized you weren’t real.
It was Easter — yes, Easter — when 7-year-old Carol concluded there was no
giant rabbit hopping around the globe delivering eggs.
And as the Easter Bunny fell, so, too, did you.
Don’t feel bad, Santa; that kiddie logic banished the Tooth Fairy the very same
year.
But today, dear Santa, I am putting aside old
grudges to send you my Christmas list.
The first thing I want is for the good folks who
answer the phones at Vermont Health Connect to get their stockings filled with
chocolate and flowers. Throughout the very rocky launch of our state’s health
exchange, these people have been on the receiving end of frustrated and
occasionally furious phone calls.
Include a few bottles of good Vermont wine, and
hopefully they will finally know how much we appreciate their patience and
support.
Please send our president a feather for his cap
for bringing sweeping changes to our country’s inequitable health-care system.
Although I was rooting for single-payer, he deserves credit for succeeding
where so many others have failed.
But once you go down his chimney, please leave
him Bill Gates’ phone number. Next time he needs some computer work done,
hopefully he will ask a pro.
Santa, bring our governor and state Legislature
the children’s book “The Little Engine That Could.” They will need courage and
fortitude as they craft and codify our state’s single-payer system and stave
off those who say it can’t be done.
And why not throw in a copy of “David and
Goliath” to remind them that the little guys — us — can win against the giant —
Monsanto — in the GMO-labeling war?
There’s a rumor going around that our beloved
Sen. Bernie Sanders is thinking of running for president. While we are damn
proud of our independent Socialist senator, please give Bernie a gift
certificate for a weekend getaway with Howard Dean. And Dennis Kucinich. And
Ralph Nader.
Please bring a red pencil to the U.S. secretary of
agriculture so he can delete the inane food-safety rules included in the farm
bill. While food safety is critical, these one-size-fits-all rules could put
many small farmers out of business and make it virtually impossible for schools
to get local food into their cafeterias.
For the Supreme Court justices, please give them
the games of Monopoly and Operation so they can learn the difference between
corporations and people.
I know I should ask you to bring something for
the folks in Congress. But since you are Santa and not the Wizard of Oz, I
guess brains and hearts are not possible.
Oh, well.
Here’s a tough one, Santa. Please give all
climate-change deniers the deed to a small sliver of beachfront in the Republic
of Maldives, the island nation that is disappearing into the sea.
I know this seems like a reward for bad behavior,
but there’s nothing like firsthand experience to change somebody’s mind. Plus
your old standby of a lump of coal is what got us into this mess in the first
place.
And lastly, for everyone who has everything he or
she needs and yet fills their Christmas lists with more of what they want,
please bring them all fruitcake and hope they can take a joke.
Thank you, dear Santa, for making all of my
Christmas wishes come true.
Carol
Tashie, co-owner of Radical Roots Farm, lives in Rutland City and tries hard to
find a balance between what is possible and what is impossible to ignore. She
can be reached at carolweeklyplanet@yahoo.com.
